Once upon a time, in a land far, far away from here, there was a young man who lived an ordinary life. Although this young man worked long and hard hours and was noted for his unusual degree of productivity, his wages were considerably low, and every single payday he was forced to watch with great melancholy as all of his earnings were diverted to cover his meager living expenses, leaving him with not even so much as a single shilling that he might enjoy the decency of a night’s festivities at the local pub.

Yet this did not trouble the young man as it might have in other circumstances, for he was a thrifty, prudent man of good temperament, who handled his pursestrings with restraint every day as he passed by alluring new cars, enticing gun shops, and the siren call of state-of-the-art home-theater systems. Having survived the treacherous journey through his dark university days, he had acquired the resolution necessary to protect himself from the murky bog of credit card debt. As befit his virtuosity, his reputation within the financial institutions of the kindgom was impeccable.

Had the young man been a lonely friar, traveling through the wilderness of life without a companion, this situation might have been sufficient for him.

But one day everything changed when this young man came across a girl of exceptional amiability. Enraptured by her beauty, he was overcome with the inescapable passion of romantic infatuation. With great persistence, he attempted to woo this beautiful girl, and was euphoric when she declared an interest in him, however small it may have been. After a second conversation and meeting, the young man was engrossed by her undeniable qualities and idiosyncrasies, and within a fortnight his romantic infatuation had grown and blossomed into a genuine affection for the girl, and his determination to court her exclusively increased tenfold.

Driven by the incurable madness eternally inherent in romance, he secretly planned a wondrous time to spend with her which would win her heart.

But then, the young man remembered that he was poor and had little money to spend on such pleasantries. Although the girl was by no means of high social status, tradition dictated that he demonstrate his fondness for her in a manner which in some fashion involved the spending of money in a substantial amount. The societal rules had relaxed since the days of his forefathers, in which it was strictly forbidden to allow the girl to lay down so much as a halfpence during a courtship. Still, as a gentleman, chivalrous to a fault, he was unwilling to consider an solution which involved her having to surrender any of her earnings, even if it was small. Additionally, the ostinate pride, which can only be found within the heart of a man, required him to maintain a pretense of being in a respectable financial condition.

Left with no other options, the young man sought out the advice of his trustworthy friends. Eager to see him settle down and happy, they directed him to the house of an old hermit, who for scores of years had been tied to the bond of matrimony until the untimely death of his beloved. It was rumored throughout the kingdom he knew the ancient incantations and spells guaranteed to win a fair maiden’s heart.

Despite this, they warned him, ever so severely, that this old hermit also had a reputation as a cantankerous imp who led a many young men to their dooms by offering poorly contrived remedies to their tribulations out of a twisted sense of amusement.

Having exhausted all other resources, the young man sought out the old hermit. Wary of what lay behind the door to the house, he knocked timidly, whereupon he was greeted by a sanguine, yet rather quaint man whose demeanor refuted all the unfound hearsay said about him. Welcoming him into the home with much celebration, the old hermit listened intently as the young man spoke of the beautiful girl who had captured his heart, explaining his dilemma in no uncertain terms.

After sitting there silently, meditating for a long time, the hermit took the young man into his confidence and revealed that he took had suffered the same predicament in his youth when courting his future wife. He, too, had had few coins to spare. Yet, he had managed to overcome this obstacle by learning three secret spells which, if used at their proper time, would magically cause a girl to overlook any deficiencies in the matter of finances.

The three magic spells and their recitations as recounted were:

• The Spell of Creativity: Do that which refreshes the soul
• The Spell of Spontaneity: Do that which is unexpected at an unexpected time
• The Spell of Authenticity: Do that which reveals one’s true heart

The old hermit warned him, however, that the spells could only be used out of necessity, for their magical properties would fail to charm if the intent behind their usage was outside of their original design.

Thrilled, the young man profusely thanked the old hermit into the long hours of the night and then returned back to his home in a mood of elation. There, he planned the special time as he had originally intended. Following the old hermit’s counsel, he used the magic spells at their proper time and not before. He did not have to wait long to see if the spells actually worked, for the moment the girl met with him she was instantly bewitched by the power of the spells and seemed to make no observation of the lack of coins used to provide such a lively interaction.

Careful not to fall into arrogance, the young man listened to the old hermit’s sagely words and worked hard to save up enough earnings to take the girl to out every so often and did not always rely on the spells as a permanent substitute. As long as he heeded this wisdom, the girl was as pleased as is capable by a man.

Acknowledging his success, the young man’s friends inquired as to the magic spells, so that they too might utilize them in their relationships. Rather than hold it back from them in order to flout his position, the young man, out of the kindness of his heart, not only informed them of the three magic spells, but he also dictated the story to this lowly scribe, so that the knowledge might be circulated to all men, unwed or married, who would then use these spells in time of need.

The End

photo by soundlessfall